When Asking for Help, Appeal to Self-Interest, Never to Mercy – Law 13 of 48 Laws of Power (Detailed Guide & Examples)

People are more likely to help you when they see a benefit for themselves. Law 13 of The 48 Laws of Power states: “When Asking for Help, Appeal to Self-Interest, Never to Mercy or Gratitude.” This law teaches that instead of relying on someone’s kindness, it is far more effective to present them with an opportunity that aligns with their own interests.

Humans are naturally self-serving, so a direct appeal to their benefits will always yield better results than relying on past favors or emotional appeals.

Understanding the Law

Rather than expecting people to help out of goodwill, recognize that everyone acts based on their own motivations. The key to effective persuasion is aligning your request with their personal goals and interests.

Key Takeaways:

• People are driven by self-interest – Frame your request in a way that benefits them.
• Avoid relying on past favors – Gratitude is short-lived, but opportunities endure.
• Make them feel like they are winning – Offer something valuable in return.

Historical Examples

1. Benjamin Franklin’s Clever Favor Strategy

Benjamin Franklin once needed to win over a rival legislator. Instead of appealing to kindness, he asked to borrow a rare book, knowing the man would want to seem knowledgeable. After returning it with gratitude, they became friends. This worked because it appealed to the man’s ego rather than relying on goodwill.

2. Henry Ford’s Worker Wages Strategy

When Henry Ford doubled workers’ wages, it wasn’t out of generosity—it was because higher pay meant better employee retention, increased productivity, and more people able to afford Ford cars. He appealed to self-interest while appearing generous.

3. Julius Caesar’s Bribery of Soldiers

Caesar knew soldiers fought harder when personally rewarded. Instead of appealing to Roman patriotism, he offered higher pay and land, securing their loyalty through direct benefits rather than emotional appeals.

Modern-Day Applications

1. Workplace & Career

• When negotiating a raise, highlight your impact on the company’s revenue and success rather than appealing to fairness or hard work.
• Instead of asking a colleague for help out of friendship, show how assisting you will also benefit their position or recognition.

2. Business & Sales

• In marketing, highlight how a product improves the customer’s life rather than just expecting loyalty to the brand.
• When seeking investments, emphasize profit potential over emotional appeals.

3. Personal Relationships

• When asking for a favor, show how it benefits both parties rather than guilt-tripping.
• If seeking mentorship, demonstrate how the mentor’s guidance will enhance their own reputation.

Pros and Cons of Following This Law

Pros:

✔ Increases success rate – People respond better when they see personal gain.

✔ Builds stronger alliances – Relationships based on mutual benefit are more stable.

✔ Avoids disappointment – Prevents relying on unreliable gratitude or emotions.

Cons:

❌ May seem manipulative – If not framed well, it can come across as selfish.

❌ Not always applicable – Some relationships thrive on genuine goodwill rather than self-interest.

❌ Requires strategy – Identifying others’ self-interest takes skill and awareness.

How to Apply This Law Strategically

1. Research the Other Person’s Needs

• Understand what motivates them before making your request.

2. Frame Your Request as an Opportunity

• Show how helping you aligns with their goals.

3. Reinforce the Mutual Benefit

• Make them feel like they are gaining something valuable in return.

Conclusion

Law 13 – “When Asking for Help, Appeal to Self-Interest, Never to Mercy or Gratitude” – emphasizes that people act based on their own benefit.

Rather than relying on emotional appeals, positioning your request in a way that benefits the other party ensures a much higher likelihood of success. The art of persuasion lies in making others see your success as their success.